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The Truth About Ana L. Retentive

August 15, 2010

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I don’t know how many of you BlackBerry users have received the following broadcast message from a contact on your BBM:

This official message comes from the desk of Ana L. Retentive, head of communications at RIM:
I regret to inform you that a virus has been sent out on all BlackBerry smartphones today, the 15th day of August in the year 2010. We are working feverishly to correct this problem, but we require your help. Broadcast this message to all your BlackBerry messenger contacts so we will be able to identify your smartphone by its pin and debug it immediately. If you do not broadcast this message within 24 hours, your phone will be shut off, due to the deadly nature of this virus. You will not be compensated, for you were warned.

Sincerely,
Ana L. Retentive
Head of Communications, RIM North America

bbmI regret to inform you that it was I, Francine Derby, who created this broadcast message. Actually no, I’m laughing so hard that I am almost in tears. Today, I was waiting for an important message from one of my contacts. Each time that my phone vibrated, I rushed to check if it was the message that I had been anticipating. I was greeted with an annoying broadcast message instead, most of the time. I was getting quite annoyed, so I complained to my best friend about the stupidity of persons that send out these messages. Then I thought it would be funny to create one for myself, just to see what would happen. I sent it to six persons on my BBM, the contacts that are the usual perpetrators of sending out silly broadcasts. I got it back from five of them. My friend and I had a good laugh and I thought it was over.

After a few minutes, I sent the following message to the five contacts who had sent it out:

Yes, that message was fake and made up by me, just to see how many of you would send it around. 99.99% of these messages are fake and made up by someone to laugh at your ignorance. Please uncheck my name next time you are sending a stupid broadcast message.
Thank you,
Francine Derby ❤

To my extreme amusement, the message from “Ana L. Retentive” has been delivered to people all over Jamaica. My boyfriend has informed me that he has received it from many of his friends in other Caribbean territories. It has even been delivered to persons in New York, Chicago, Los Angeles and Tennessee (I found this out by doing a Twitter search, then I searched Facebook). The comments I have received on this post are from persons all over the African continent, India, Malaysia, the Philippines and Turkey. I had no idea that it would be this widespread. I intentionally named the person “Ana L. Retentive” to make it even funnier. As I’m sure you know, “anal retentive” is a term used to refer to a person who feels a need to be in control of all aspects of his or her surroundings. Or, in other words, an anal retentive person “can’t let go of shit.” I assumed that this name would indicate to persons that the message was fake. Evidently, I was wrong.

Broadcast messages can be useful, but they can be annoying if the service is abused.

If Research In Motion was having a worldwide problem, wouldn’t they use a better medium than broadcast messages to get the word out? Think about it. The same can be said for the “each time you send this, 25 cents gets donated to charity” messages. Why is it that RIM never makes these grand announcements using their website? Or, surely you would have heard of such a big thing on CNN or at least crackberry.com

Luckily, I have deleted most of the contacts from my BlackBerry messenger that are guilty of sending stupid broadcast messages.

If you have been annoyed by the message from Ana L. Retentive, I’m not sorry at all that I started it. I sent it to only six persons and now it has gone worldwide. A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect.

Please think carefully the next time you send a broadcast message.

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74 Comments leave one →
  1. August 15, 2010 8:24 pm

    Six degrees of separation.
    You think with a name as Anal they’d blow it off as spam or of the sort. The head of RIM communication saying that all bb users have a virus and you received this in a simple broadcast message? *smh* Humans never fail to amuse me.

  2. August 15, 2010 10:19 pm

    Thanks a lot, I just received this message from ana l retentive….good one!

  3. Victoria permalink
    August 15, 2010 10:32 pm

    Your an idiot…you didn’t make a point just perpetuated stupidity.

  4. Surry Lewis permalink
    August 15, 2010 10:43 pm

    Fuck yu you fuckin asshole !!! And where yu sent me that shit my speakers on my fone started to fuck up , so fuck yu , yu and yo bitch ass boyfriend!

  5. Larissa permalink
    August 15, 2010 10:46 pm

    I received this message too, and I´m from Honduras, It´s incredible how those messages spread.

  6. Shavone Yon permalink
    August 16, 2010 12:04 am

    Stop sending messages that aren’t true! I dnt give a shit if u only sent it 2 six people! U should of known that it was goin 2 spread b/c in da message it clearly states 2 send it around 2 all ur bbm friends! So dnt give that bs bout how u didn’t know that it was goin 2 spread world wide like that! So fuck u and whomever that it would b funny you fucken retards!

    • Samantha Dobson permalink
      August 18, 2010 2:00 pm

      she wasnt doing it just for fun she wanted to make u all see how annoying they are and that ppl shud stop sending broadcast messages. cant u read and understand?

  7. kelsona permalink
    August 16, 2010 3:06 am

    Quite funny u almst got me

  8. lolly permalink
    August 16, 2010 3:41 am

    Well, it got to Nigeria…and its so funny how these messages fly around so quickly.

  9. August 16, 2010 4:02 am

    hey buddy, im from India, I got this message and was sure something is amiss here, so googled it and came to your site, it’s hilarious that some people just send anything they get, but the Good thing is that this spread so fast, imagine the revolution this is, in times of crisis or problems if we use this medium im sure we can spread awareness instead of letting rumours spreading and disposing issues that may become potential hazards in future.

    any ways, njoi and take care

  10. Voca L Expletive permalink
    August 16, 2010 4:05 am

    Av always thought about what could motivate people to start such BS broadcasts, and its nice to know @ least you started yours as a prank @ six idiots. I got the message from almost 15 contacts within a 5 min period here in ….. Nigeria!!! I was so incensed I deleted almost all off them after sending a rather abusive reply of my own….
    SMH.

  11. Faruq permalink
    August 16, 2010 4:08 am

    Got it too… I’m in Nigeria and it’s really going around right now

  12. kessy permalink
    August 16, 2010 4:12 am

    Really funny, you got me

  13. Barb!e doll permalink
    August 16, 2010 4:21 am

    Yea! I saw it,and knew it was a fake,I even asked one of the person’s that sent it to me,how can someones’ name be ‘Retentive’? That’s absolutely not possible…
    Thou I know that people answer weird names…
    Well,thanks and I hope they laugh at their stupidity!

  14. josh permalink
    August 16, 2010 4:24 am

    Uhhhh….can’t bliv I got it!!!!!!!!

  15. gift permalink
    August 16, 2010 4:25 am

    Thank God I was not interested

  16. whyte permalink
    August 16, 2010 4:29 am

    I got the same stupid message in Nigeria, but delete it immediately.

  17. August 16, 2010 4:38 am

    Got dis message too, treated as junk! Donald, Nigeria.

  18. olagunju b oladele permalink
    August 16, 2010 4:39 am

    Very funny and crazy…. Almost got me scared

  19. tonero permalink
    August 16, 2010 4:41 am

    I love you so much for this,u’re really creative….I’ve never sent a crazy broadcast my self thanks dear…at least I now know what an anal retentive person is..kisses to u

  20. joeykay permalink
    August 16, 2010 4:43 am

    I always knew it was fake.. I just hissed wen I got it.. Nice 1 dou

  21. Belladonna permalink
    August 16, 2010 4:45 am

    Ya’ll don’t need to get nasty, she did prove a very valid point. I was gettin really tired of gettin those msgs! Sometym last week after I’d gotten too many of those donation broadcasts, I had to send this out:
    Ok ya’ll. I’v had it>:/. I sympathise wif the boy and his family, but I refuse to forward the msg. And I implore those forwardin it to read the msg thoroughly, and then decide if it’s really worth forwardin. Wateva ur answer is to that, pls, leave me out of it. I mean,how does ma network know wen I forward the msg,8-|. Unless we’r faultin the privacy policy of RIM, which means that everythin u send on ur bb, can be viewed by someone. I’m not sure that’s a great thot. I’m sure u get d picture. Thanks for cooperatin. Have a nice week.
    I mean, people need to be more thotful about this things, and not forward everything they get. Nice one Ana L. Retentive. Tym to send some ppl over here, for a read, LMAO.

  22. yashco permalink
    August 16, 2010 4:50 am

    You are an ass hole idoit.

  23. Debbie Errikson permalink
    August 16, 2010 4:55 am

    Oh my God, You gave me a fright trust me you really do,but it really funny.

  24. edith permalink
    August 16, 2010 4:58 am

    She is dumb n stupid.jobless bitch

  25. yindole permalink
    August 16, 2010 5:09 am

    Fuk u

  26. Stephanie 4m Nigeria permalink
    August 16, 2010 5:14 am

    I fink its time all broadcasts be screened Bt RIM b4 bin passed on,b4 sumfin terrible happens 2 RIM & all BlackBerry users Nationwide,suffer 4m its carelessness.

  27. sisi permalink
    August 16, 2010 5:25 am

    ha! apparently it got to Nigeria too… nice one!

  28. Arwa permalink
    August 16, 2010 5:45 am

    hey FOOL,
    this clearly shows how jobless u r!!! ur friends who send u braodcasts are far more creative ppl u have on ur list.. & i so think after this disgusting forward u created all those ppl on ur list shld delete u & not accept ur req eva again… u truly know how to waste ppls time….dumb fuck of the highest category!!!!!!!!
    have a wasted life ahad u dumb ass

  29. Abu Ib permalink
    August 16, 2010 6:00 am

    Bad business! This has gone global already. Yu almost got the careful me! Funny as it were so many unforgiving souls stand out there!!!

  30. bisola permalink
    August 16, 2010 6:14 am

    Wow I’m in Nigeria and even I got the message! Was so scared!

  31. henry permalink
    August 16, 2010 6:33 am

    I think u need to properly apologize to all bb users. Its nt fuuny at all it shows hw immature u are. Hmmmmm what a waste. Henry

  32. Naija Zone permalink
    August 16, 2010 6:34 am

    This just goes to show how na�ve people can be, I’m in Nigeria and I got dis broadcast too. stupid broadcasts are sent regularly so I just ignore them generally and never re-broadcast

  33. bad guy permalink
    August 16, 2010 6:35 am

    U ar fcked up

  34. kubsy permalink
    August 16, 2010 6:37 am

    OMG dis is sooo funyy I jst got dis msg nd am in Nigeria well dats a good 1.

  35. onlyme permalink
    August 16, 2010 6:41 am

    It has reached South Africa.

  36. manfu permalink
    August 16, 2010 6:41 am

    Lmao…..cnt stop laughing shit u got pple in nigeria

  37. August 16, 2010 6:41 am

    imagine how ppl could just fwd something like that? don’t they know that RIM head of corp com will only get BBM to send msgs??? their website is dead!?

    🙂 funny!

  38. obi permalink
    August 16, 2010 6:42 am

    Nice 1 gal … I got d msg and am in nigeria… I hav bin laughing all morning

  39. nigga permalink
    August 16, 2010 6:44 am

    I’m 4rm nigeria nd i wasted my time sndin this shit.fool

  40. nigga permalink
    August 16, 2010 6:47 am

    I’m 4rm nigeria and I wasted ma time sndin this shit. u ar a fool

  41. Alei permalink
    August 16, 2010 6:58 am

    Hahahahah, this msg is circulating widely in Nigeria. Thts y I composed one of my own…

    Attention all blackberry users. An alien from planet xjdjkxj is attacking all blackberries on earth, and he’s gonna burn all ur phones. Researchers in Brazilian Ultimate Laboratories Linking Space Hazards to Ignorant Terrestrials (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T) have discovered a way to repel this attack. U have to broadcast this message to all ur contacts “the power of God compels you” to all ur friends and put ur blackberry in the freezer at night, And drink a lot of codeine enriched substance or smoke a lot of marijuana as the antidote to the exposure… .

    May God help u all.Dis is for RIM broadcasters only…..beware=)) =))

  42. chichi permalink
    August 16, 2010 7:08 am

    Loooooool! Wat a gud laugh @ surry lewis! Its worse in africa!!!!!

  43. halley permalink
    August 16, 2010 7:12 am

    Lol! Actually I wasn’t fooled by it, the moment I read it, I knew it was a joke, it sounded lyk a joke! Lol

  44. Shams Sbg permalink
    August 16, 2010 7:29 am

    Good services from Your company. I really hope you’ll be able to debug the virus so it doesn’t affect our phones. Tq.

  45. maryam u permalink
    August 16, 2010 7:29 am

    U shud be ashamed of your self. I’m in Nigeria n it has gotten 2 me. U shud rili stop with d broadcasts because it aint funny @ all.

  46. Cynthia oboho permalink
    August 16, 2010 7:42 am

    U got some of ma frnds rite here in Nigeria…nt me coz dis broadcast stuff suckz big time…..am glad is a gal that pulled this very effect..Lol

  47. August 16, 2010 7:46 am

    Its absolutely hilarious. Some people can be so stupid it amazes me. This message is almost everywhere now, Dubai, Nigeria, Egypt. I gives u a thumbs up (y)

  48. Otuba permalink
    August 16, 2010 8:17 am

    Its because of people like u that BB is banned in some countries. Try to be positive.

  49. August 16, 2010 8:31 am

    LOL 😀

  50. intan permalink
    August 16, 2010 8:31 am

    I’m from Malaysia. N yes I received it too. But bein receivin loads of tis broadcast msg, tis time b4 spreading it, I took d effort to check from BB home page. Got nothing but a cousin of mine confirmed its not true. Tq coz I hv fwd tis msg to all my contacts, so next time they know its not true. But yeah, u got it all spread worldwide. Dude, u’re funny.

  51. emeka permalink
    August 16, 2010 8:32 am

    Yeah, it sure went worldwide. Am in Nigeria[Africa],Most of my pips got it & began to broadcast it. You almost got me…lol
    Nasty Trick I must say.

  52. Ryan Mattis permalink
    August 16, 2010 8:43 am

    A perfect example of one fool…well in this case, one bored person makes many fools

  53. zeze permalink
    August 16, 2010 9:37 am

    U deserve to be demoted to a lower animal status.

  54. Ann permalink
    August 16, 2010 10:23 am

    Soon as I read it I laughed at the name and said someone has their joke book out. This message made it to Bermuda and I received it numerous times before I decided to google and sent the info back to my contact about researching broadcast forwards.

  55. Joseph permalink
    August 16, 2010 10:26 am

    Wow, this message was sent yesterday to almost every dominican bb user… It’s incredible how stupid broadcasts go around the world so easily. Greetings from DR! =D

  56. zila woha permalink
    August 16, 2010 10:37 am

    I received like 10 of this mssgs 2 day.am in nigeria

  57. taipan Lee permalink
    August 16, 2010 10:53 am

    I received the message in lagos nigeria.I knew it was a bullshit anyway.
    But men, the message spread like wild fire and its still spreading.

  58. taipan Lee permalink
    August 16, 2010 10:54 am

    I received the message in lagos nigeria.I knew it was a bullshit anyway.
    But men, the message spread like wild fire and its still spreading.

  59. Road Town permalink
    August 16, 2010 10:58 am

    This has reached the BVI ,I had to researched it and I got this site. shit is annoying!

  60. Raphson permalink
    August 16, 2010 11:27 am

    Crazy indeed! Just can’t stop laughing esp wen I read ppl’s comments! Nice one,though crazy!Raphson from Nigeria

  61. lamide borishade permalink
    August 16, 2010 11:55 am

    Reading through the replies I can’t help but notice the shear number of nigerian respondents. Is it that we have the highest number of BB users or the highest number of mugus. Either way, this may actually be a good market survey tool for RIM. Needless to say that I am sending this from 9ja. Werrin dey?

  62. debbie permalink
    August 16, 2010 12:03 pm

    lol! im in nigeria and i knew it was fake! lol! goodone!

  63. peter e permalink
    August 16, 2010 12:35 pm

    “oh what a gain it is for leaders that most men do not think” Adolf Hitler…..according to Jesus men r sheep….. He meant that literally…..ppl do not think and they nd to be led like sheep.

  64. ruel permalink
    August 16, 2010 2:06 pm

    Its just crap my friend beg me to check the link

  65. Alejandra permalink
    August 16, 2010 2:43 pm

    Got it in Ecuador, South America. Really people, be a little wiser…

  66. Claire permalink
    August 16, 2010 5:14 pm

    You’re hilarious. I can’t believe someone sent it to me! I’m in BC, Canada lol

    Disregard the idiots who can’t seem to take a joke and learn a lesson. Smarten up folks.

  67. Larissa Piva permalink
    August 16, 2010 6:22 pm

    Got it in Chase B.C, Canada while camping ftw 😉 hahaha kudos to you man chian mail is fucking annoying 😛

  68. August 16, 2010 7:05 pm

    I round this really funny. I saw it on a friends phone last night. I found it quite hilarious. For all the “wonderful” people arguing and cursing about the broadcast, here are a few things to look out for to tell that messages are fake:
    1. The fact that it came as a broadcast message: If anything, you would hear it on the news, in your email, on the company’s website and IN THE NEWS!

    2. Check number 1

    3. The fact that you’re being asked to send it to all your contacts: RIM would never ask you to do that as it would only clog up their servers. Also, no company will ask you to send a broadcast just to donate 2 cents to a dying person or whatever.

    4. If somehow 1, 2 & 3 slipped past your firewall – that blocks common sense – then you can’t be helped, kill yourself and make the world a better place by getting rid of one more idiot.

    5. Check number 1

    Oh yeah, and the fact that the “Head of Communications” is Anal Retentive should point out that something is off.

    Rule of thumb people: When in doubt Google it out.

  69. Betul H. permalink
    August 17, 2010 5:28 am

    You are really a huge waste..

  70. adewale oko permalink
    August 17, 2010 1:34 pm

    You fuckers got illiterate ppl trippn ova here in nigeria…fuck u, u jobless piece of shit…I hope a truck gives u some anal…how about that???…muthafucka..

  71. Yemi permalink
    August 18, 2010 4:36 am

    Nice one girl! I’m suprised a lot of ppl didn’t pick up on anal retentive. I wasn’t happy to receive d broadcast but I’m mad at d nutter who sent it to me not at u!

  72. August 18, 2010 11:27 am

    F’rancine if i had no love for you before , i love you immeasurably right now.
    Lmfao this shit is SO FUNNY. I kept looking at the name Ana L. Retentive because i KNEW it reminded me of something but i just couldn’t figure it out. “Anal retentive” i almost fell out my chair after reading that line cause now i remember lmfao!
    These comments are overly hilarious too , i read every one o_O all those people calling you names are fuck faces & just might be the perpetrators who always send out dumb broadcasts themselves. Sad cases, Im missing my Blackberry so much. I’m sad that i missed this.

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  1. Another Blackberry Messenger Hoax Message from Ana L. Retentive | Hackstacks

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